Resilience is bouncing back from suffering just like how a slinky comes back into shape after it has been stretched. Suffering can range from painful life situations, mistakes, failures and a sense of worthlessness.
When suffering hits you can choose to either be self-critical OR self-compassionate
in response. Self compassion expert Kristen Neff believes the 3 components of
self compassion are key to being resilient.
A great way to remember these 3 components is to view each one as a different part of a donut…
The donut illustration
The Donut Base
Every donut base is the same.
Remind yourself that EVERYONE suffers.
The truth that “It’s not just me that’s suffering“ should make us feel connected rather then alone in our suffering.
Our brains naturally criticise us for what we don’t have. Eg. ”You’re not _____ enough!”
Do-nut focus on what you do-nut have. Focus on what strengths you do have. Eg. “I’m a caring friend, I’m responsible etc.”
The good bits!
Noticing and enjoying this part of the donut = joy and satisfaction.
Look for and enjoy the good bits in your day instead of getting caught up in the not so good bits.