Confidence is a certainty of your abilities and an acceptance of your imperfect self. Comparing ourselves to others often decreases our confidence as we negatively judge ourselves and feel insecure as a result.

Our confidence is often tied to how much we value and accept ourselves. When we feel worthy we take risks and put ourselves into the world. Confidence is contagious so we can spread confidence to one another.

Focus on the positive

Whether it be a criticism someone has of us or negative beliefs our inner critic tells us, psychologist Rick Hanson states our brains stick to negative things about ourselves like velcro. Yet the compliments from others or good aspects we see in ourselves slip from our mind like an egg in a frypan.

Figure 1. Negative things stick in our minds while the good slips away. But we can choose to fight against this and train our minds to focus on our positives and strengths.

Our brains stick to negative things about ourselves like velcro.

– Rick Hanson, Psychologist

We can choose to let our mind focus on the negatives or fight against this and focus on the positives like our strengths. The more we focus on the positives, the quicker and easier our brains get at pondering the positives versus the negatives during hard times.

Find your strengths

Go to and answer 100 questions to find your top 5 strengths.

Power pose

Our posture can greatly influence how confident we feel. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy says that standing in a power pose for 2 minutes can increase our sense of confidence.

Figure 2. Our posture can influence how confident we feel.

Watch Amy Cuddy’s 20 minute TED talk on confident body language below.


Hanson, R. (2018). Resilient: 12 tools for transforming everyday experiences into lasting happiness. Random House.

Carney, D. R., Cuddy, A. J., & Yap, A. J. (2010). Power posing: Brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance. Psychological science, 21(10), 1363-1368

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